Posts Tagged ‘children’

How far does violence extend, how do we determine exactly who is responsible for the violence that children are seeing on television and in music.  What about video game’s, who is taking the responsibility for the violence and awful things that, are occurring right before the eyes of the youth today?  Many politicians are looking to eagerly blame the media and entertainment industry.  Is that the correct place to lay the blame?  Perhaps parents are the people ultimately to blame.

More parents today than ever before are working longer hours just to stay afloat financially.  This alone results in phenomenal numbers of children being left with a television as the babysitter in charge of teaching right from wrong.  How does a child learn the difference between right and wrong, when their parents are nowhere to be found?  Where does the parents’ responsibility to parent a child and the governments’ right to parent a child merge?

Does the government even have a right to parent children?  Should the government be allowed to determine what is appropriate for all children to watch, or should that be ultimately left up to the parents to decide on their own?  There have been television shows, movies, musical artists, and even books banned because the government does not approve.

Where is the line drawn in who controls what the children are watching?  Is it really up to the parents, or is it left to the children to decide on their own?  When did parents lose the ability to control what their child watches, and when did the parent become subject to the child’s own opinion?  While some advances in technology have been wonderful, there is also much effort by the government to control what a parent does with their own child, and it is this more than anything that has caused controversy on a civil liberties basis.

There have been several inventions and developments that are able to help parents monitor their children; from the v-chip to programs that log instant messenger programs.

These developments are great for the parents looking to monitor their child themselves, but what about the music industry.  Most parents are constantly told that the violence their child is exposed to is the fault of the music industry.  The blame is placed on the singers and producers for releasing the music.

Much blame is placed everywhere but the parents for taking responsibility for their own children and determining what is best for them.  With politicians attempting to punish some area of the entertainment industry each time a national tragedy occurs, it puts a major crimp on the ability of parents to decide for themselves what is acceptable for their child and what is not.  Many are left to allow their child to choose from the options that are left, once the government has omitted the choices that are bad.

Is this censorship, or helping raise children?  Many seem to think it leans heavily towards censorship, a place the governments should not be treading.  Many others tend to feel that it should be a high priority of the government to protect everyone from something that can potentially be bad, without even giving people the option to make their own decisions.

The issue as to what extent the government should intervene with the way in which we live our lives is hotly contested, and it works in a much larger circle than just the control of our children.  Should the government take a step back, and allow society to use its freedoms and powers for self regulation, or is there a need for intervention to ensure the greater good and justice for the welfare of society as a whole?  For the time being, it seems as though the most pragmatic approach relates somewhere in the middle, although it will be interesting to see developments in this area over the coming years.

I am fairly certain that most of us have either seen or at the very least heard of the hit situation comedy “Married with Children” that dominated television for quite a few years and is still shown in syndication in many markets around the world. There are some wonderful insights that are shown by this often dysfunctional family and a few pearls to bring into your everyday lives. The same can be said when it comes to cooking with children.

There is little on this earth that can teach you about yourself and the way your children view you as easily as cooking with your children. Of course, this is the perfect opportunity for many of us to let our hair down a little, relax, and have fun in the kitchen. Unfortunately, if you are anything like me, this is a difficult process to say the least. I am a bit of a control freak in my kitchen. It is my domain or sovereign territory so to speak. For this reason it is difficult to give up that little bit of control and hand over the reins to any one of my children.

On the other hand, I know they are learning important skills that they honestly need to know in life. This knowledge of course doesn’t make it any less difficult when I’m scraping tomato sauce out of places I would never have thought to discover it on my own. If you are considering cooking with children you need to make sure you have the proper ingredients on hand before beginning. You certainly do not want to be caught without that cup full of patience you will be requiring nor do you wish to need to leave in the middle of things for a run to the local grocery store to pick up the missing ingredients.

Another great rule of thumb when it comes to cooking with children is the KISS rule. Keep it simple silly. This rule will help out more than you ever realize. First of all, most children have relatively short attention spans. While they want to learn and help mommy out, they also do not want to have enough time to get bored with the details. Use simple recipes when cooking with children and your chances for success will be much greater than with overly complicated or ingredient intense recipes.

As if this wasn’t enough to absorb another very important rule when it comes to cooking with children is to clean as you go whenever possible. Trust me on this. While there is part of you who will want to put off the task of cleaning the messes that are made until later or wait till the end and only clean once, this allows the opportunity for messes to layer and compound themselves. Constantly clean throughout the process for the best possible results. You should enlist your children in the cleaning process as well. While it may be easier to do yourself, it is far more important to teach them the basics of cleaning as you go. Remember one day they will more than likely invade your kitchen while you’re not looking.

Cooking with children can be an incredible way to have a fun day if you are able to let go of the control that you too often hold over the kitchen. Give over the keys to your kingdom for a day of fun and frolicking among the flour and sugar and see just how many wonderful memories you can make with your little ones along the way.

Education is one of the most beautiful and important forms of love. However, it requires courage. Parents often take a kind of “shortcut” giving to their children what is easy and expensive, avoiding what is really necessary.

Education starts with feelings, gestures, and authenticity. Setting rules with speeches is not educating, but taming a child. Mothers and fathers should be like the light that illuminates a dark room.

A child feels lost when he doesn’t know where to go has no limits and definitions. Physical security is as important as the psychological one. Feeling safe is also feeling understood, accepted and embraced, not only protected from material hazards. Security has also to do with being helped to understand the world and understand oneself.

During a lifetime, parents will be the North Star for their children. Becoming aware of what this means reflecting on the quality of the relationship we have with them.

What are the values that guide our lives?
What kind of people we are?

We live in times of transition. Maternity and paternity are no longer pre-established models. Being a mother and a father is a human condition that is entering a new phase of creation and discovery. But, still children need something solid and reliable.

Children think what they have is cool! The truth is you can use this to fact to inspire your children intellectually and artistically.

For example I am currently teaching my 6 year old niece to read, skipping back I have not seen her since she was a baby as I lived in another state. She knew her abc’s and her phonics fairly well but could not read. Straight to the point I had her reading in days and everyone was so impressed especially my niece. But how did I do it is the real question, I changed the environment in her house, and we removed the TV because TV damages the developmental process of neurological developmental process. Then I used TV as a reward for reading. I replaced the TV with books in a fun way. I bought computer programs with games, DVD’s, books, logged on to internet reading sites… basically her and I together made her life letter, words, books and reading; in a very light hearted way. The point is, is that she is a child she will do what is provided in her environment as long as it fun (So Make it Fun!!) so we made her environment fun reading. Therefore she now reads. This can be done for any subject, and the arts saturate the environment and the child will regurgitate what is shown.

The hardest thing for most parents to admit is that children are only a product of their environment… mainly. So when we see our children failing in school, or being a nuisance around the house, it’s hard for us to except that the child was once a blank slate and is only what we helped them to become. All that being said, change the environment around your child and you will change your child’s future, many people over complicate this matter, meaning their environment is your house so change your house into what you desire your child to become. Children think what they have is cool! So if what they have is books, they won’t know the difference between that and a video game.

A mom is popularly a term used in reference to a mother. A mother is commonly a biological and female parent. It has different connotations according to the context (social, cultural and religious). Nowadays, with the advances in reproductive technologies, the function of biological motherhood is shared between the one genetic (who provides the ovum) and the one gestational (who carries the pregnancy). The term is often extended to the woman who fulfills the main social role in raising the child; it is in reality defined with precision by the term ”adoptive mother”. Mothers have historically recognized as the one who acknowledge their children in conversation since young and they are more likely than fathers to encourage assimilative and communion -enhancing patterns in their children. Socially, it has been recognized that the way mothers speak to their children favors the understanding of the message and is someway better suited to support them in their efforts to do things. This is however challenging to define the mother as the one fulfilling the primary role in raising children because the social role and experience of motherhood is greatly depending upon location and culture. The fathers have been sometimes given greater prominence and social acceptance in the role of child care in certain areas.

As we grow through adulthood, the early years may be hectic and frazzled with socializing and working, not to mention raising a family.  During those years we may slide backwards a bit on some things that don’t seem very important, such as eating three squares a day, brushing after meals, and paying attention to symptoms our body displays about personal health.  This really happens to most of us, the exceptions being people in the military, or weightlifters, or athletes.

One thing that impressed me throughout high school and college was a common thread, “Balance all things.  Keep track of how many times you chew your food, and remind yourself how many servings you need of each item in the pyramid.  As often as you get angry, frustrated or sad, insist on doing twice as many activities that result in laughter, accomplishment and enjoyment.”

Yes, that’s a tall order!  But when you seriously consider those statements in terms of the ups and downs of life, it makes sense.  Personally I applied those practices to every aspect of living.  When my children were little, and discipline was necessary, they got it, and I balanced it with much more tenderness and happy playful moments.  Whenever a spat occurred with my husband, I bit my tongue and listened, and later on approached the subject calmly with a simple question like, “Why did you react that way?”  On those occasions when I was mouthy about something foolish, he would simply take me in his arms and plant a big kiss to shut me up, holding it until I went limp and giggled.  That was balance!  We need to come down to earth about living, after we have chosen a lifestyle, by thinking about how the small things are really important, like flossing!  Just do it!

The bond between mother and baby starts in the intra-uterine life, but it really develops during breastfeeding, diapers changing, responsible decisions, touches and looks. Mothers and children will be discovering each other in the hours, days, months and years they spend together. Love grows, becoming stronger grounded. Even to the best and most balanced of the mothers love asks for patience and commitment.

One of the earliest forms of bonding with the baby is breastfeeding, which is the union of feeding and relation.
Another way is touch. After the first month of life, babies love soft massages, like Shantala. The Butterfly touch is also recommended. Both sooth and relax the baby.

Even though the baby does not speak, talking with him is an important form of relation. The tone of voice, the quality of the energy emanating from the mother makes the difference. With a baby, we should talk about what is happening, where he is, what we are doing with him (strolling around, changing diapers, and so on).
Love vibrates through the words and the tone of our voice, as well as through our emotional state while we take care of him.

Parenting has been the career of choice for me, although I challenged myself with so many work experiences from waitressing to executive management!  The family came first, top priority in my purpose, and when those times presented when I was needed to be an at home mom, I was home.

I chose to have five children.  The first three were born so close that for a very short period of time I had three in diapers!  At that time, disposable diapers weren’t available, so those fluffy white cottons were a major chore.  As I look back on those years, I am filled with pride because my husband came home each day to a full diaper pail, and he hand rinsed each diaper in the tub and carried the load to the washer for me.  After our supper, he played with babies while I hung the white diapers on the line, then later, when they were dry, he would come outside with the little’s while I took them down and folded them.  Pride in that, you may ask?  Of course!  My babies’ bottoms were caressed with loving hands and sanitary white diapers, always!

Fond memories flood my thoughts as I relate this tale, which is obviously a note of life in the sixties.  While the nation was watching news about riots and campus shootings, I was absorbed in the daily routines of parenting.  All I could do for others was offer prayers because my hands were filled with babies.  I was young and lived far from my own mother, but I always called her to ask questions, and she faithfully answered with positive feedback.  After all, wasn’t I reared by a good mother who taught me so much?  Yes, parenting came naturally to me, as Mother chose to rear her children in the country, on a small farm, with lots of animals to take care of, and loving, teaching parents to prepare us for responsible living.  Being a mother is a blessing!

There are parents who allow their small children to run wild. Once when I was shopping in the   mall, I saw this little boy, darting in and out of the garments on the rack. I thought to myself he could fall and hurt himself, or he could wander off and somebody could snatch him. I waited and finally, I saw a well dressed young woman walking in my direction. I approached her and said to her that somebody could snatch her child. She grabbed him by the hand, never said thank you, and gave me a look as if to say, mind your own business. She probably has never seen those programs about missing children so she has no real gut feelings about what could happen to her child.

On another occasion, I observed a child who had been precariously placed in a shopping cart. I was thinking that any moment now this cart is going to topple over and the child will fall and hurt himself. I thought about approaching the parent, but I figured I would better mind my own business. I hurried away from that area since I did not want to witness a pending catastrophe.